[May require a bit of editing for bulletin use.]
Bass: How have you been doing since your wife left you? I'll bet you miss her when you go home after work to an empty house.
Bari: On the contrary. I'll have you know that I go to bed and sleep like a baby.
Tenor: Really? You just go to bed and sleep like a baby?
Bari: Sure! I sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up and cry for a couple of hours, go back to sleep for a while, wake up and cry for a while ...
Tenor: How unlucky was he?
Bari: Once when he was digging around in his attic, he uncovered what looked like a magic lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it, and lo and behold, a genie came out of the lamp, and bestowed on Uncle Bob the Midas Touch!
Tenor: How was that unlucky?
Bari: For the rest of his life, everything my uncle touched turned into a muffler.
Tenor: To tell you the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.
Lead: You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird? I can't believe it!
Tenor: Well, yeah. After all, he's a parrot fish.
Lead: I hate to tell you this, Chris, but while you might be able to teach a parrot bird to sing, you're never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.
Tenor: That's what you think! He can sing all right. The thing is, he keeps singing off-key. It's driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?
Bass: Maybe if you change your mind enough times, you'll find one that works!
The Lead said, "He was a wonderful singer, a genius, and a fine husband and father."
The Bass answered, "He was a great entertainer and a wonderful family man."
The Tenor proclaimed, "He was loved by all who knew him. Humanity has suffered a great loss."
The Baritone replied, "I would really like to hear them say, 'LOOK, HE'S MOVING!'"
Bari: Because of a road sign I have to pass on the way here!
Lead: And what does a sign have do with it?
Bari: It said, "School ahead, go slow."
Lead: "It's obvious. You're having an auto-body experience."
Tenor: Not only that! My paper company folded. I put the money I had left into a company that manufactures brakes, but it looks like it's on the skids. It's depressing.
Bari: I know what you mean. I put money into a dry cleaning shop, but it washed out. Then my balloon company was a victim of inflation. I'm about ready to give up.
Bass: My bakery lost all of its dough and the bowling alley I bought was hit by strikes.
Tenor: One Hundred and Fifty Six.
Lead: Wrong answer. Next person?
Bass: Three times three is Tuesday.
Lead: Tuesday? Another wrong answer. (Looks at the last person) How about you? Can you tell me how much 3 times 3 is?
Bari: Three times three is nine.
Lead: Correct! And how did you arrive at that answer?
Bari: It was easy. I just subtracted Tuesday from 156.
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