Actual comments about baritones, trust me, the editor wouldn’t lie

“Out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

"Has delusions of adequacy."

"Sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"Is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"Should go far—and the sooner he starts, the better."

“Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.”

“Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.”

“A room temperature IQ.”

“Got a full six-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.”

“A gross ignoramus—144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.”

“A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.”

“Bright as Alaska in December.”

“One-celled organisms out-score him in IQ tests.”

“Donated his body to science before he was done using it.”

“Fell out of the family tree.”

“Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.”

“Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.”

“He's so dense, light bends around him.”

“If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.”

“If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.”

“If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.”

“It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.”

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